“The Beast (aka La Bete)” Blu-Ray (director: Walerian Borowczyk)

Controversial Euro-sleaze!

This classic (and infamous) Euro-sleaze film from 1975 is given a new lease on life with this beautiful new Blu-Ray, adding plenty of bonus features, retrospective info and a crisp, clean video quality that is surprising given the age of the source material. 

Without giving too much away, “The Beast” is an adult re-telling of the “Beauty & The Beast” tale, with some shocking and very mature scenes. Where to begin? A wealthy American heiress is set to marry a reclusive French aristocrat in his crumbling castle when she discovers his past harbors a dark secret. It seems one of his ancestors was attacked in the woods nearby by a strange beast. This scene is relived through fantasy sequences as the heiress finds the sexual nature of the attack, well, titillating, herself. Things get wet and wild, with some extraordinarily explicit fantasy scenes of the woman and beast in flagrante delicto. All the while, the heiress finds ways to pleasure herself before her marriage.

The opening scenes of horses copulating are off-putting and quite disgusting, as director Borowczyk apparently really wanted to outright assault the boundaries of good taste with this film, which falls somewhere between weird horror/fantasy and porno. Despite all the revolting content here, the film is beautifully shot, with colorful visuals of the French castle and grounds. Art film? Surely. Trash film? Without argument. Watchable? Mostly. Erotic? Questionably. Unique? Most definitely. This is a film viewers will remember, undoubtably. But beware, as this one goes pretty far!

Arrow Films

“Necrophile Passion” DVD (director: Tom Heidenberg)

German sicko trashiness

Taking obvious cues (even the box art and font are rip-offs) from the German sicko "classic" “Nekromantik”, this rather foul and explicit descendent/copycat (also, oddly, from Germany, complete with English subtitles) does take itself quite shockingly far, with loads of nudity and rather dubious and vile sex scenes. 

The protagonist is a lonely, troubled, and unlikeable lout with a history of abuse (from an annoying and unloving girlfriend, which seems to be his main hangup). He graduates from simply cutting himself to even more nefarious deeds when he discovers a nude, freshly killed young woman in a woods. It needn't be told what he does to the corpse after a bit of rumination. The lout is played in a mostly wooden fashion by Gunther Brandl, who spends his spare time lazily sulking around his house considering more vile deeds or suicide. I say more power to him, as this guy is really unlikeable in just about every way. Anyway, he eventually decides to get revenge on his hateful girlfriend. Without giving away any spoilers, the ending is indeed a surprise. 

I give “Necrophile Passion” trash-film points for being pretty well disgusting, and with no short supply of breasts or explicit sex scenes. Otherwise, the acting is shallow and unconvincing, the effects adequate at best, and the script pretty unoriginal. Best to leave this one in the bins and invest in Jorg Buttgereit’s great (and still disgustingly shocking) “Nekromantik”.

Unearthed Films

“Sexina” DVD (director: Erik Sharkey)

Mild and unimaginative b-film

Why films like this get made I really cannot explain nor understand. Lacking any unique angles or interesting characters (everyone here is a bad stereotype), this mild indie pseudo-trash film (I hate to say “B-movie”) offers no sex nor nudity, despite what is implied by the title.

Starring the fetching but unmemorable Lauren D’Avella as teen pop star / private investigator Sexina, this micro-budget indie comes across like a bad late-night TV movie, and fails to rise above. Hammy acting, a lame storyline, and deceptive packaging — Adam West does appear, but only in voice until the finale, and Davy Jones of the Monkees DID sing the theme song, but Annie Golden (of "Orange is the New Black") is only on a minor supporting role, rather than second billing as on the packaging. So points off for borderline false advertising on several counts.

In this miserable film, Sexina intervenes at a high school, undermining the cliques at a high school and championing an underdog, all the while fighting the “evil empire” of Glitz Records and manufactured boy bands.

This is a terrible movie, through and through.

Wild Eye Releasing

"Showgirls 2: Penny's From Heaven" DVD (director: Rena Riffel)

Rena Riffel's trashy 'sequel'

I must give a hand to multi-tasking actress Rena Riffel, who produced, wrote, directed, AND starred in this one. And although the film itself is long-winded (running at 2.5 hours!), convoluted, and downright silly, the fact that she alone was responsible for most of it is pretty well cool.

The story here supposedly picks up where the poorly-regarded "Showgirls" left off 18 years ago. Riffel (who looks great and fit at 44 years old and isn't afraid to bare her fine ta-tas, by the way) reprises her role as Penny Slot -- an aspiring dancer/showgirl who just can't get a break. Her quest takes her out of Las Vegas, and into sleazy, seedy Hollywood, where she has to sift her way through all kinds of trials and tribulations for "the part" -- most of which entail sleeping with (or getting felt up by) someone.

Sure, this isn't much of an original script (I've seen porn with similar executions), and the acting is often really over-the-top, but it seems Riffel is going for a sort of trashy homage to the original. She even references her roles in David Lynch's "Mulholland Drive" and "Striptease" here, which is kind of neat. 

Still, "Showgirls 2" leaves a lot to be desired, and even as a campy (and unofficial) follow-up, it's not one I'd easily recommend.

Wild Eye Releasing

"The G-String Horror" DVD (director: Charles Webb)

Convoluted and confused z-horror

Hmm. A curiousity, this one. On one hand, it's a poorly-scripted and amateurish ultra-low budget trash film. On another hand, it's tied into a real-life ghost story/haunting. The director Webb (himself a veteran of adult film production dating back to the early 70s) weaves a tenuous tale around the reportedly haunted and historic Market Street Cinema in San Francisco. He combines both staged footage (rather uninteresting and badly scripted/acted by actual strippers at this now-closed club) with real-life ghost-hunting footage and interviews with the famous strip club's employees. It ends up a confusing mess posing as a surreal experience.

The attempt to join these worlds just doesn't work. It all ends up being quite unbelievable and false in feeling. The most interesting part of this failed experiment is the retrospective look at filming alongside an episode of "Ghost Adventures", as the popular supernatural/ghost-hunting crew filmed a night at this same club, with the employees/"actresses" featured. 

But don't expect Zak Bagans and crew to make any cameos, as it seems even they wanted some distance from this convoluted and ham-fisted project.

Apprehensive Films

"Octaman" DVD (director: Harry Essex)

Silly monster movie

This 1971 drive-in horror/sci-fi certainly epitomizes the low-budget side of the genre as well as anything. "Octaman" is the tale of a research crew visiting Mexico who discover a new species of baby octopus, and subsequently find themselves tangling with the little beasties' mother -- a human-size octopus-human hybrid. The creature itself is a person in a silly rubber costume. Which is tons better than another SyFy channel CGI-fest, right?

It's an absolutely silly movie, still, but there is one tragic twist. This was the final film for the beautiful Italian star Pier Angeli, who overdosed on barbituates during filming at the age of 39. And, as a bit of trivia, the monster was the first film creation for future make-up and effects legend Rick Baker. Beyond that, it's a by-the-numbers sci-fi/horror crossover, definitely in a "radiation makes the mutation" theme.

Fans of classic, ultra-quickie C-grade cinema should check into this. Serious genre fans may want to steer clear.

Cheezy Flicks

"Exploitation Double Feature" DVD

Marginal set of trashy cinema

Pairing a couple of unrelated early 70s trash films, this double-sided single disc is marginal, at best. The first feature is my favorite -- the 1976 Joe D'Amato-directed "Black Cobra Woman (aka Eva nero)". Starring Jack Palance and the beautiful Laura Gemser, it's the tale of a wealthy playboy (Palance) who encounters a stunning exotic snake dancer (Gemser), who he eventually woos, leading him into her dangerous web of murder. Did I mention that Palance's character himself collects exotic snakes? With plenty of nudity and scenes of 70s-era Hong Kong, this is a curious little film that's got enough breasts and tantalizing sexuality to keep me interested.

The second flick is a 1977 Italian film, directed by Massimo Dallamano, called "Super Bitch (aka Mafia Junction)", and it doesn't fare so well. A dirty cop infiltrates a crime syndicate, and plenty of violence, murder, and big 70s-style car chases ensue. Nudity is at a minimum, but the soundtrack by the great Riz Ortolani is superb. 

So, win some and lose some, this double-feature set is, nonetheless, a cool (and inexpensive) find for exploitation fans.

Apprehensive Films

"Bath Salt Zombies" (director: Dustin Wayde Mills)

Capitalizing on the freaky 2012 news story about the bizarre bath-salt-induced face-eating in Miami (which brought on paranoia about a so-called zombie apocalypse, as well as many ill-humoured jokes), this micro-indie horror farce was produced firmly tongue-in-cheek, and proves to be a solid trash film in the spirit of Troma, with plenty of sleaze and gore.

The premise is simple -- a mutant strain of "bath salts" comes to market, and it causes users to crave human flesh. So, we get zombie junkies who mercilessly dismember and feed upon their friends and girlfriends. Sure, it's cheesy and packed with plenty of silly and graphic effects, but it's fun. And, the scene of Erin R. Ryan (particularly her amazing breasts) in the shower (before she is sadly murdered) is quite memorable. Yow! But I digress.

"Bath Salt Zombies" is a fine B-horror/trash film, with even the soundtrack (featuring trash-punk from the Dwarves, Meatmen, and others) keeping the feel independent and underground. Good work!

(MVD Visual)

This Hollow Sacrament" DVD (director: Greg Stechman)

Part of the "Bloody Evil" bound budget 4-pack (often a quick sign of trouble), this cheapie micro-indie has so many issues, I don't know where to begin. It's a serial killer flick, completed by flat, robotic soap-level acting, casting issues (why is the supposed 13 year-old about 30-ish?), and a generic script. An ex-soldier, now a detective, is hot on the lead of a slayer of young women in Northern California. And, get this, it's "based on true events". Stop me if you've heard this one before...

Compared to the serial killer mainstays ("Se7en", "Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer", "Silence Of The Lambs"), this one seems just plain mild, and even playing safe. The gore, while prominent, is cheesy and forced, even. I dunno, but this one lost my interest really quickly and never got it back. Unearthed FIlms needs to bury this aimless cheese-fest back in the litter box, where it belongs. 

(Unearthed Films)

"Grindhouse Hostage" 2xDVD

This 2-disc, 3-movie set of 70's-era hardcore misses the mark more than it hits, but that doesn't mean there aren't some entertaining scenes here and there. All three films are centered on hostage situations, as the title implies, but all three are vastly different.

Up first is "Virgin Hostage", which would've worked if not for the male characters' saggy, limp performances. And I mean that in every sense. As in the actors can't get, uh, interested in the ladies. It's a tale of a gang of bank robbing fools who abduct several young ladies, and attempt to mount them. Sad, really.

"Play Only With Me" fares much better, as a girl (Kris) has a one-night stand with unwitting Richard, who doesn't realize (until it's too late) that Kris is an obsessive, gun-toting stalker, possibly homicidal, and threateningly jealous of Richard's serious girlfriend (played by the fine Desiree West). This one has some fair dialogue, some solid action, and some well-endowed ladies. No problems there!

The final film here is a Danish import, and overdubbed. It's called "The Blue Balloon", and is a tale of a ruthless lesbian white slave trader who sells a hapless young wife to a series of awful men. It's a sad and lonely tale of a woman broken and degraded, and in today's climate, this is a tough one to watch.

So, in summation -- win some and lose some. If this weren't enough to convince you, there's a plethora of trailers as an added bonus on disc 2. (After Hours Cinema)

"Slave Girls On Auction Block 1313" DVD (director: Bob Gonzo)

Not sure where "Bob Gonzo" comes from, but from the looks of this micro-indie sleazefest, he's possibly from the porn world. But this softcore sexploitation film offers only breasts galore, and an overabundance of hammy over-acting, awful characters, and ludicrous sets. Not much to see here.

Not much to say about "Slave Girls On Auction Block 1313", either, other than it's a tale of a sordid group of kidnappers who auction off lovely lasses to the highest bidder. The girls do their thing (unconvincingly), flash some flesh, and that's it. "Private Dick" "Rod Danger" comes to the rescue, complete with sexual innuendo overload. This one's pure trash cinema, with no apologies, but it doesn't have the titillation or storytelling to inspire much more than yawns of indifference . (Video Outlaw/Alternative Cinema)

"Zombie Babies" DVD (director: Eamon Hardiman)

In the spirit of Troma, this low-rent micro-indie splatterfest offers little more than some rather disgusting gore effects, awful dialogue, bad audio, and some unimpressive breastage. I'll say it up front -- avoid this one.

With barely a script, this begins as a cool idea, but instead makes itself into little more than a farce. A sleazy back-alley, coat-hanger late-term abortionist (played with equal parts baptist preacher and Michael Keaton's "Beetlejuice" character) lines up a hotel full of young and very pregnant teens and their beaus. Well, a basement moonshine still goes awry, and the aborted fetuses become, well, reanimated. 

Bad digital effects, bad puppet effects (I saw hands and strings everywhere), and attempts at ultra-grossout deaths (death by defecation? umbilical cord strangulation?) are the name of the game here. I could go on and on. Sure, this one's thoroughly, through-and-through tongue-in-cheek, but I got pretty bored of this unconvincing film quite fast.  (Independent Entertainment)

"I Spill Your Guts" DVD (director: James Balsamo)

This ultra-micro indie trash film follows closely in the footsteps of director Balsamo's previous film, "Hack Job", as it also features celebrity cameos from Dave Brockie (aka Oderus Urungus of Gwar), Lloyd Kaufman (of Troma), and Debbie Rochon. As well, we get Andrew W.K. making a brief and bloody appearance. Anyway, in "I Spill Your Guts", a greedy military veteran double-crosses his war-hero friend, leaves him for dead, and steals his glory. The friend exacts his revenge by becoming a sort of undead serial killer.

Viewers will undoubtedly be pleased to see plenty of bouncy (usually pierced-nippled) breasts, limb hackings, and gallons of gore. The soundtrack is jam-packed with death metal and industrial sounds, almost to excess. Sure, the acting, dialogue, and storyline are all pretty forgettable and awful, but this is a fun film and made with tongue thoroughly in cheek. Maybe I lost interest, but many fans of sleazy Troma-style cinema will find something of interest in "I Spill Your Guts". (Acid Bath Productions)

"Ilsa - Harem Keeper Of The Oil Sheiks" DVD (director: Don Edmonds)

This quick 1976 sequel to the legendary trash-cinema icon "Ilsa - She Wolf Of The SS" doesn't fully lose the plot, though it does seem to scale back a wee bit on the "naughtiness". No matter, as "Harem Keeper" has plenty of nubile breasts, blood, and weird tortures to please fans of raunchy grindhouse/exploitation films.

Re-casting the awesome and stunning Dyanne Thorne as Ilsa is a great move, of course. Here, seemingly right after the fall of the Third Reich, Ilsa finds herself in the Middle East and a liaison to a powerful oil sheik. Ilsa is responsible for training and "breaking" his sex slaves, and she does so with her usual unflinchingly icy hand. But when an American military commander comes to visit, she falls for him, despite his being "the enemy". We see a softer side of the chilly Ilsa, as well as a few less-severe sex scenes.

Sleazy highlights include explosive diaphragms, forced sex with a leper, tarantulas inserted into face masks, chastity belts, and forced silicon buttock implants. What other film can offer all of this, I ask. 

Sure, the storyline is little more than an excuse to parade out lovely young women and show some jiggle, but there is a tale here. The sets and scenery are actually fairly convincing, and even the acting is, well, adequate. Despite the inherent silliness of the premise, "Harem Keeper" is a fine example of trash cinema, and a classic in it's own right. (Cheezy Flicks)

"Fetish Dolls Die Laughing" DVD (director: David Silvio)

A pretty tame and uninteresting horror/crime drama here, and one that goes for a shock value yet fails miserably. Take one part Jason Alexander (George on "Seinfeld") and one part Danny DeVito, and make him a lo-rent foot-fetishist-slash-tickle killer. Then, make him possessed by a demonic "Tickle Monster", and send an attractive female detective to capture him.

 Sure, I get some H.G. Lewis and Russ Meyer-esque trash cinema references within "Fetish Dolls", but the gore and sex are sorely under-represented, and the characters are quite wooden and silly. I became bored and found this one a challenge to sit through. (World Wide Multi Media)

"Frauleins In Uniform" DVD (director: Erwin C. Dietrich)

Alternately titled "She Devils Of The SS", this 1973 Swiss sexploitation romps through a muddy storyline, but has plenty of "perks" anyway. Taking part at the end of WWII, a large amount of pretty young ladies are brought aboard the Nazi military to perform various functions, but the sex-starved (and often nude) lasses just can't keep their hands off the soldiers (or each other)! With tongues firmly in cheek, the filmmakers exhibit a plethora of breasts (and fur). Call it softcore Naziploitation perhaps, but "Frauleins In Uniform" is a fairly fun and lightweight film with solid sets and effects. And the often hammy acting is of no regard -- this is enjoyable trash cinema from a prime era. (Cheezy Flicks)

"Bong Of The Dead" DVD (director: Thomas Newman)

"There will be bud!" claims the packaging. This spliff-tastic splatter parody adds a new spin on the tried, true, and, dare I say, trendy zombie mythology. Set in the not-distant zombie apocalypse, a pair of bone-headed stoners discover that by pureeing zombie brains into fertilizer for their marijuana, they can get higher than a giraffe's cooch. So they set out to harvest more zombies, only to end up crossing paths with a tough chick named Leah, who reluctantly joins them, all the while adding some sexual tension and providing a measure of intellect.

The gore? Very well-done here. And the cinematography is also solid, with the "stoned" scenes shrouded in a misty camera effect. The acting is only so-so, but with a finale that's over-the-top and reminiscent of some of Peter Jackson's classics, this one's a whole bloody lot of fun. (MVD Visual)

Bong Of The Dead official site with trailer and $2.99 download deal

"Thankskilling" DVD (director: Jordan Downey)

With tongues firmly set in cheek, director Downey and friends present this splatstick horror comedy that could become a cult favorite with some time. The campy, cheesy, almost Muppet-like cover art begins by promising "boobs in the first second", and it doesn't falter on this boast. Trash points already! Truth be told, this is a fun and gory parody that goes far and isn't afraid to look stupid for a laugh. And that it was filmed over only 11 days and on a paltry $3500 budget is amazing.

The "villain" here is a smack-talking, smarmy turkey, reincarnated after a Native American curse and aimed at wreaking havoc on the Pilgrims. The turkey, who's full of lame one-liners, gets himself into some precarious spots in his attempts to murder and maim hapless teens. One unforgettable scene involves "Turkey" "stuffing" a slutty coed -- shocking and hilarious. You've never seen a sex scene like this before, trust me.

Sure, the acting is stiff and the writing fairly flat, but the premise of a killer turkey in the spirit of Troma or early Peter Jackson is pure drive-in sleaze greatness. For fans of stuff like the "Evil Dead" series, "Reanimator", or any Troma flick, this is a must-see. (MVD Visual)

Thankskilling site

"Psychopaths - Sex With Hostages" DVD (director: Jason Impey)

This trashy, flaccid micro-indie out of England is pure exploitation, but it doesn't deliver the goods it promises. Following a pair of escaped felons (murderer-rapists) as they evade a pair of bumbling and hot-headed cops, "Psychopaths" features nary a single likable character, an annoying abundance of potty-mouthed "fookin' koonts", and far too many overweight Brits who perhaps shouldn't be acting in films ever again. Miserable!

The sex is rather tame, the violence flimsy, the fight scenes laughable, and the characters one-dimensional and uninteresting. I lost interest fast and could barely finish this load of bollocks! (World Wide Multimedia via MVD Visual)

"I Spit On Your Naked Corpse" 5xDVD

"Five films of extreme horror", so states the packaging here. I say, it's more like five Z-grade sleaze/trash films with little going for them.

"Sadomaster" begins things off on a poor note. It's an embarrassingly awful Argentinan shlock-fest with poor subtitles and even worse effects. Nazis, ninjas, plastic babies, and a masked (the box says "mashed"---hahah!) avenger (lucha libre style) all add up to a horrendous film. Avoid!

"China White Serpentine" follows, and is a fairly forgettable trip into a drug-and-sex ring headed up by a domineering female drug dealer. Plenty of blood and boobage here, but little else worth mentioning.

"Dead Body Man 2 - Separation Anxiety" is a highly offensive, sick, and farcical gross-out, on a less-then-shoestring budget. Sadistic killer/chicken-fucker Willie (played by the Bam Margera-like loudmouth Eddie Benevich) terrorizes everyone he meets, as his porno obsession leads him to encounters with Jesus, prostitutes, and old rehab friends. Pure camp, and an ordeal to sit through.

"Bizarre Lust Of A Sexual Deviant" is a fairly heinous exploitation flick that follows a troubled stalker/prowler who chloroforms his young female victims, only to take naked Polaroids of them. Easily, this one's a pretty sick excuse to parade out more titties. Not much story here.

Finally, "I Spit On Your Corpse, I Piss On Your Grave" stars Emily Haack (the heavily-tattooed star of many of SRS Cinema's trash/sexploitation films) as a woman who adopts her captor's sadistic tendencies to avenge her past sexual predators. Full of humiliation, degradation, mutilation, and lots of blood, this shocker ends on a vicious note, with a climax involving a wooden baton, masturbation, sodomy, and rape. Ugly stuff.

Can't recommend this collection to anyone but those with the vilest temperaments, and those who don't mind watching wooden acting and amateur cinematography. (SRS Cinema)