“Zombie Isle” DVD (director: Robert Elkins)

Living dead stinker

I hope George Romero is filthy rich. Or at least very comfortable these days. After all, he's been ripped off so many thousands of times, he deserves more. Or maybe he just has an awful lot to answer for? Regardless, this micro-budget indie further recycles the tired formula into a virtually unwatchable mess of scratchy digitally enhanced  "70s film" stylings, and a nonexistent storyline involving a group of students "researching" an abandoned and forgotten island, only to find military quarantine signs and, you guessed it, zombies!

To give some credit where it's due, some of the gory flesh eating is suitably foul and repellant. And the electronic soundtrack is actually well done. But that's where my accolades end.

Doesn't any good trash film require some sex, nudity, or at the least some breastage? Sure, this attitude will have me labeled a sexist. Oh well. Purists and serious horror fans will agree with me. So forget about cheap titillation during "Zombie Isle". You'll get no.such satisfaction here, despite the cast full of attractive ladies.

A shame that this has to fail on nearly every level. "Zombie Isle" does nothing but nail shut the coffin on a genre that, though trendy, hasn't seen any innovation or creativity in a very long time. Let the living dead rest and avoid this stinker!

World Wide Multi Media

"Bath Salt Zombies" (director: Dustin Wayde Mills)

Capitalizing on the freaky 2012 news story about the bizarre bath-salt-induced face-eating in Miami (which brought on paranoia about a so-called zombie apocalypse, as well as many ill-humoured jokes), this micro-indie horror farce was produced firmly tongue-in-cheek, and proves to be a solid trash film in the spirit of Troma, with plenty of sleaze and gore.

The premise is simple -- a mutant strain of "bath salts" comes to market, and it causes users to crave human flesh. So, we get zombie junkies who mercilessly dismember and feed upon their friends and girlfriends. Sure, it's cheesy and packed with plenty of silly and graphic effects, but it's fun. And, the scene of Erin R. Ryan (particularly her amazing breasts) in the shower (before she is sadly murdered) is quite memorable. Yow! But I digress.

"Bath Salt Zombies" is a fine B-horror/trash film, with even the soundtrack (featuring trash-punk from the Dwarves, Meatmen, and others) keeping the feel independent and underground. Good work!

(MVD Visual)

"Super Pack Zombies" DVD

In a sea of derivative and opportunistic zombie flicks, this DVD, which actually is 4 different micro-indies on a single disc, doesn't hold it's own in any way. As much as I appreciate smaller indie films, there isn't a single thing here redeeming enough to recommend.

The first movie is "Porn Star Zombies" (director: Keith Emerson). First, for any fans of porn stars OR zombies, this one's underwhelming. You would at least expect an over-the-top sleaze quotient here, but even titties are a rarity here. The gory zombie effects are forgettable, too. I give credit only for the director using a main street "zombie walk" for part of the finale.

Up second is "Bunker Of Blood" (director: George Bonilla). Hmm. I thought it couldn't get much worse after "Porn Star Zombies", but it did. "Bunker" makes such a mess, I can't properly put it to words. Indie films shouldn't attempt a major action spectacle if they can't pull off a credible facsimile, and this one fails heavily with poor, poor digital effects, cheesy sound effects, duck-taped sets (I kid you not), and a G.I. Joe clone "hero" named "Taggart". Imagine a lame "Doomsday Preppers" with unconvincing "zombies" and you'll be close. Just dismal.

Next up we have "Office Of The Dead" (director: Matthew Chung), which is, as the title suggests, a tongue-in-cheek hybrid of "The Office" and George Romero's "Living Dead" series. I can't honestly say that this is worth a look, but it's leagues ahead of others in this set. 

Finally, there is "Bled White" (director: Jose Carlos Gomez), which isn't half bad. Which means it IS half bad, as well. Credit should go to the cinematography, though, which casts the film in nicely sharp but cold and monochromatic light. I caught plenty of creative and interesting camera angles, as well, so kudos for that. This one's a series of vignettes that are vaguely related to a zombie apocalypse. 

To sum up, avoid this one. There are dozens of lame, unoriginal zombie rip-offs out there, and "Super Pack Zombies" fits in that category quite well.

(R Squared Films)

"Zombie Babies" DVD (director: Eamon Hardiman)

In the spirit of Troma, this low-rent micro-indie splatterfest offers little more than some rather disgusting gore effects, awful dialogue, bad audio, and some unimpressive breastage. I'll say it up front -- avoid this one.

With barely a script, this begins as a cool idea, but instead makes itself into little more than a farce. A sleazy back-alley, coat-hanger late-term abortionist (played with equal parts baptist preacher and Michael Keaton's "Beetlejuice" character) lines up a hotel full of young and very pregnant teens and their beaus. Well, a basement moonshine still goes awry, and the aborted fetuses become, well, reanimated. 

Bad digital effects, bad puppet effects (I saw hands and strings everywhere), and attempts at ultra-grossout deaths (death by defecation? umbilical cord strangulation?) are the name of the game here. I could go on and on. Sure, this one's thoroughly, through-and-through tongue-in-cheek, but I got pretty bored of this unconvincing film quite fast.  (Independent Entertainment)

"Mourning Wood (director: Ryan Convery)

Ah, another micro-indie splatstick zombie-comedy (zombedy?). This one doesn't fare so well, being a tale of a small-town informercial king who accidentally unleashes a mutant zombie strain in his "Shampube" genital-washing product. The result are silly undead who hump everything within sight and "expel" torrents of white goo (which, naturally, turns others into zombies).

Granted, some of the head-splattering gore effects are fine, but everything else here is just bad. It's a juvenile, "not-funny" comedy with a penchant for silly digital effects, bad acting, and a fratboy sense of humor. I lost interest rather quickly. (Brain Damage Films)

"Zombie Undead" DVD (director: Rhys Davies)

It must be said. Zombie flicks are a dime a dozen. With the success of "28 Days Later", "The Walking Dead", and "Shaun Of The Dead", there's been an alarming trend of zombie this and zombie that. Enough! This 2010 UK indie film is a prime suspect, being as generic, aimless, and pedestrian as they come.

You already know what to expect -- a terrorist attack leaves a wake of zombie plague in downtown Leicester, England. It quickly spreads to the countryside, where our heroine, Sarah (played by the positively dull Ruth King) meets up with Jay (played by writer/co-editor Kris Tearse). They walk themselves in circles, being accosted by zombies, with little to say. Bad dialogue, droll characters, no direction...I could go on. On a more positive note, there are some neat and gory corpse-munching scenes, but they are too few. Avoid this one, as it's just plain bad. (Hive Films via MVD Visual)

Hive Films site

"Bong Of The Dead" DVD (director: Thomas Newman)

"There will be bud!" claims the packaging. This spliff-tastic splatter parody adds a new spin on the tried, true, and, dare I say, trendy zombie mythology. Set in the not-distant zombie apocalypse, a pair of bone-headed stoners discover that by pureeing zombie brains into fertilizer for their marijuana, they can get higher than a giraffe's cooch. So they set out to harvest more zombies, only to end up crossing paths with a tough chick named Leah, who reluctantly joins them, all the while adding some sexual tension and providing a measure of intellect.

The gore? Very well-done here. And the cinematography is also solid, with the "stoned" scenes shrouded in a misty camera effect. The acting is only so-so, but with a finale that's over-the-top and reminiscent of some of Peter Jackson's classics, this one's a whole bloody lot of fun. (MVD Visual)

Bong Of The Dead official site with trailer and $2.99 download deal

"Zombie Allegiance" DVD (director: Tony Nunes)

Hmm. Another forgettable entry into the zombie sweepstakes. Like a shoestring "Walking Dead", this one tries to be more than it is. Like, we get a love story somewhere amidst the bloody gore and necrophilia. But beyond that, there is little here to warrant closer examination.

The storyline, acting, and characters are pedestrian (even unlikable), and "Zombie Allegiance" covers no ground we've not already seen ten times over. None but the staunchest zombie fans should apply here. I say, avoid. (Independent Entertainment)

"Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies" DVD (director: A.M. Frank aka Jesus Franco)

Alternately known as "Oasis Of The Living Dead", this 1981 grindhouse/late-night drive-in style stinker is offered here as a shoddy VHS transfer, complete with visual distortion and noticeable audio hiss. But technicalities aside, this is a fun, but highly-flawed film.

Opening with a pair of nubile American hotties oddly traversing the African desert (resplendent in tiny shorts and tight tops), the "nazi zombies" attack. Cue the intro credits.

Anyhow, as the tale goes, a shipment of Nazi riches went missing in the African desert back during an Allied ambush. Fast forward to present day, and the son of the last living Allied soldier returns to claim the missing millions. Needless to say, there are obstacles. Director Franco (for some reason using the pseudonym A.M. Frank) has been responsible for some hideous abominations in film, but this isn't among his worst. Sure, the acting is barely adequate. The voice dubbing is, well, tolerable. The script is kinda shitty, and there are some really blatant missteps in continuity and (especially) logic.

Furthermore, I expected more breasts, gruesome zombies, and bloody gore, and this one rolls along rather slowly, but the late-70's weird atmosphere (and exotic Northern African setting), and weirder shoestring budget music (by Daniel White) make this one watchable, somehow. I'm not saying this is a good film. Far from it. But it is a curiosity, and a decent piece for serious zombie film fans. (Cheezy Flicks)

"Forrest J. Ackerman Presents: The Anthology Of The Living Dead" BOOK

I don't often review books here, but this one is certainly noteworthy, and likely of interest to many faithful Goatsden readers. Compiled by J. Travis Grundon and L.B. Goddard (and personally authorized by the late horror-godfather Ackerman, who provides a wonderously fun intro), this collection of zombie/living dead-themed fictional short stories isn't short on new ideas or twists, and proves to be a surprisingly well-done set of sometimes shocking, sometimes mature-themed, and always entertaining shorts. Personal favorites include Jeremy Boland's clever, humorous, and even charming "Icy Dead People", Sean Douglas's cathartic "fuck-you" tale "Braindead", Andrea Dean Von Scoyoc's twisty "Vindication", Scott Lefebve's apocalyptic "Whimper", and the grisly, graphic, and bleakly-humorous "Suck", by Eric Enck. A honorable mention for Justin Brock-Jones and his "Dead Silence", which takes the classic Romero theme into an angst-ridden post-adolescent direction. Hah! But everything else here is worth a look, too, and this book seriously won me over from the start. Perfect late-night reading for those who dare to imagine a world where the dead walk amongst the living. (Black Bed Sheet Books)

Dan O'Bannon - "Return Of The Living Dead"

This 1985 movie was an important part of my teens...I mean, 'More brains!', split dog - this is some crazy and unforgettable stuff! Filmed in Louisville, KY, this low-budget, high-splatter remake of Romero's classic is lightweight fun, with lots of dark humor and a silly comic side. It's also known for a notable topless appearance by scream-queen Linnea Quigley (as freaky punk rock chick 'Trash').

The tale begins with a new hire at a medical supply warehouse who is informed (in confidence) that there are sealed government containers stored downstairs that contain the undead remains of the original zombies from 'Night Of The Living Dead'. As it turns out, this wasn't fiction at all. Well, accidents happen and the containers are leaked, causing the toxic re-animation gas to leak into a nearby cemetery. The undead are awakened, and their hunger for brains is insatiable. Enter fun!

The soundtrack is thoroughly 80's, but does include some righteous punk tunes by the Cramps ('Surfin' Dead'), 45 Grave, The Damned, TSOL, the Flesheaters, and Roky Erickson. Can't fault that, now can we?

Check this one out if you liked 80's splatter classics like 'Evil Dead, 'Re-Animator', or zombie flicks in general. There are some really well-done gore effects, and the campy, B-movie feel proves that this is one horror film without pretension. A superb cult classic and one that deserves it's due.

Victor Halperin - "Revolt Of The Zombies" DVD

This 1936 film, by noted 'White Zombie' director Halperin, depicts an upstanding young military man named Armand Louque, who, while in Cambodia during the war, happens across the lovely Claire Duval, who he is instantly smitten by. Well, his love turns to jealousy when she is found to love another. Fast forward, and Louque (played by the likeable Dean Jagger) accidentally comes across an ancient scroll that details a spell to create an army of nonthinking, subservient zombies. Well, he uses this for his own ends, as a means to get even for his scorned love, and, eventually, his plot is discovered. The punishment for 'not playing a gentleman's game' (a great quote from the movie) is swift.

Really, this is as much a love story as it is horror (though the title promises otherwise). 'Revolt Of The Zombies', at a mere 65 minutes, is still rather slow, and some scenes - particularly one of the actors superimposed in a 'swamp', are downright laughable. But that's part of this film's charm. It's no classic, but it's not horrible, either.

This is a budget DVD release, in-print by several companies, so picking this one up for a buck or two should be no challenge.