"Bath Salt Zombies" (director: Dustin Wayde Mills)

Capitalizing on the freaky 2012 news story about the bizarre bath-salt-induced face-eating in Miami (which brought on paranoia about a so-called zombie apocalypse, as well as many ill-humoured jokes), this micro-indie horror farce was produced firmly tongue-in-cheek, and proves to be a solid trash film in the spirit of Troma, with plenty of sleaze and gore.

The premise is simple -- a mutant strain of "bath salts" comes to market, and it causes users to crave human flesh. So, we get zombie junkies who mercilessly dismember and feed upon their friends and girlfriends. Sure, it's cheesy and packed with plenty of silly and graphic effects, but it's fun. And, the scene of Erin R. Ryan (particularly her amazing breasts) in the shower (before she is sadly murdered) is quite memorable. Yow! But I digress.

"Bath Salt Zombies" is a fine B-horror/trash film, with even the soundtrack (featuring trash-punk from the Dwarves, Meatmen, and others) keeping the feel independent and underground. Good work!

(MVD Visual)

"Grindhouse Hostage" 2xDVD

This 2-disc, 3-movie set of 70's-era hardcore misses the mark more than it hits, but that doesn't mean there aren't some entertaining scenes here and there. All three films are centered on hostage situations, as the title implies, but all three are vastly different.

Up first is "Virgin Hostage", which would've worked if not for the male characters' saggy, limp performances. And I mean that in every sense. As in the actors can't get, uh, interested in the ladies. It's a tale of a gang of bank robbing fools who abduct several young ladies, and attempt to mount them. Sad, really.

"Play Only With Me" fares much better, as a girl (Kris) has a one-night stand with unwitting Richard, who doesn't realize (until it's too late) that Kris is an obsessive, gun-toting stalker, possibly homicidal, and threateningly jealous of Richard's serious girlfriend (played by the fine Desiree West). This one has some fair dialogue, some solid action, and some well-endowed ladies. No problems there!

The final film here is a Danish import, and overdubbed. It's called "The Blue Balloon", and is a tale of a ruthless lesbian white slave trader who sells a hapless young wife to a series of awful men. It's a sad and lonely tale of a woman broken and degraded, and in today's climate, this is a tough one to watch.

So, in summation -- win some and lose some. If this weren't enough to convince you, there's a plethora of trailers as an added bonus on disc 2. (After Hours Cinema)

"Ilsa - The Wicked Warden" DVD (director: Jess Franco)

The third in the infamous "Ilsa" series places the cold and calculated Ilsa (reprised again by the inimitable thunder-chested beauty Dyanne Thorne) in a South American mental asylum/prison for women. Aided by her companion, Juana (the gorgeous and sexy Lina Romay), Ilsa cruelly tortures and experiments on her "patients", even selling explicit films of them being raped by male prisoners for extra "blood money".

Released under a variety of titles ("Wanda, The Wicked Warden", "Greta The Torturer", and "Greta - Haus ohne Manner"), this reissue apparently shows signs of editing, though little is lost from my point of view. There are still plenty of jiggling breasts, lesbianism, and a relatively high sleaze quotient -- the norm for director Franco's oeuvre. 

Ilsa herself seems a secondary character here, as Romay and the lovely Abbie Phillips (played by Tania Busselier) steal the show. The acting and script are pretty unremarkable, but seriously, do you expect or need such artfulness from Franco? His fusing of the erotic and the inhuman is paramount here, and disciples of classic Euro-trash cinema shouldn't be disappointed. (Cheezy Flicks)