“Scream Park” DVD (director: Cary Hill)

Mediocre slasher with Ogre and Pinhead

Another ultra-low budget horror flick with an affinity for the classic 80s slashers here, featuring a couple of notable cast members. Unfortunately, there’s little else here worthy of mention. The premise is simple — a failing amusement park owner decides to create a “media sensation” by hiring insane redneck thugs to commit murders at the park. The park’s teen employees, enjoying a night of drinking and partying, end up being hunted, one-by-one, by the maniacs (one played by an often-masked Ogre from Skinny Puppy).

Not much else to say here, aside from a memorable appearance by Doug Bradley (Pinhead from “Hellraiser”). The usual grisly killings are here, alongside some mediocre acting, and a bit of nudity (the appealingly busty Kailey Marie Harris drops some wondrous double-D bombs), but overall this one just falls flat (unintentional pun), not distinguishing itself from a thousand others just like it.

“Scream Park” isn’t terrible, but it is unremarkable and fairly pedestrian. Serious slasher fans could do worse, but casual horror geeks can take it or leave it in good conscience.

Wild Eye Releasing

"Paranormal Apparition" DVD (director: Alec Tuckman)

Inferior ghost story

This micro-indie film is compared to "Paranormal Activity" on the packaging, which isn't really very apt or accurate. No surprise there, eh? This is a fairly generic, quickie movie that doesn't have much to offer the crowded "haunted house" genre. The story follows a typical broken family and their transplant into a ritzy Beverly Hills mansion that's been tainted by the blood of a vicious murder.

The daughter (here played by the lovely Lulu Brand -- obviously a pseudonym) is most susceptible to the influence of the paranormal, and she is the protagonist here. The special effects are purely of the silly digital variety, and there is practically no tension here whatsoever. The acting is average, but the story itself seems so played-out and generic, there's nothing here left to the imagination. Couple with that the fact that there's no nudity at all, and very little blood, and this is safely a throwaway cash-in attempt, riding the coattails of better-known (and creatively superior) films.

World Wide Multi Media

"Linnea Quigley - Grindhouse Triple Feature" DVD

Scream Queen Trash Trilogy

First off, this isn't what's normally termed "grindhouse" -- it's more like eighties-era exploitation, of the type shown on late-night TV. That aside, legendary scream queen Quigley stars in these three trashy, sexy, horror-edged films. Expect plenty of eighties stereotypes here, and some of this footage looks to be sourced from VHS or laserdisc, but it's all more than watchable.

First up, "Nightmare Sisters" is probably the most memorable film. It's the tale of three nerdy girls who come into possession of a demonic crystal ball that transforms them into sex-starved vixens. Their party (with three nerdy guys) becomes, well, a bloodbath. There's plenty of topless action from Quigley and co-stars Michelle Bauer and Brinke Stevens, including a steamy triple-girl bath. Good, solid, trashy fun!

"Deadly Embrace" is pretty forgettable, and borders on murder-mystery. Stunning cougar wife Ty Randolph seduces her studly gardener (played woodenly by Ken Abraham, who spends more time grooming his hair than he does acting). Abraham's unwitting girlfriend (cue Quigley's character) gets involved, and things get hairy. Again, some steamy sex scenes ensue. but the faltering plot (straight from a cheesy romance novel) and poor acting leave this one D.O.A..

Finally, "Murder Weapon" is a confused and hackneyed murder thriller featuring a pair of girls (both daughters of murderous mobsters, no less) who leave a mental hospital only to hold a massive party with all of their old boyfriends. Sounds like a good idea, right? Well, the party gets a bit out of hand, and boyfriends start ending up dead. Some reasonably bloody gore is here, and there are plenty of yummy romps with Quigley and her co-star, the shapely Karen Russell. 

Quigley fans will need this inexpensive collection, and fans of sexy horror with a B-movie twist will, without a doubt, be pleased.

Rapid Heart Pictures

Linnea Quigley official site

"Bath Salt Zombies" (director: Dustin Wayde Mills)

Capitalizing on the freaky 2012 news story about the bizarre bath-salt-induced face-eating in Miami (which brought on paranoia about a so-called zombie apocalypse, as well as many ill-humoured jokes), this micro-indie horror farce was produced firmly tongue-in-cheek, and proves to be a solid trash film in the spirit of Troma, with plenty of sleaze and gore.

The premise is simple -- a mutant strain of "bath salts" comes to market, and it causes users to crave human flesh. So, we get zombie junkies who mercilessly dismember and feed upon their friends and girlfriends. Sure, it's cheesy and packed with plenty of silly and graphic effects, but it's fun. And, the scene of Erin R. Ryan (particularly her amazing breasts) in the shower (before she is sadly murdered) is quite memorable. Yow! But I digress.

"Bath Salt Zombies" is a fine B-horror/trash film, with even the soundtrack (featuring trash-punk from the Dwarves, Meatmen, and others) keeping the feel independent and underground. Good work!

(MVD Visual)

"I Heart Monster Movies" DVD (director: Tyler Benjamin)

A warm love letter to horror films in general, this feature-length documentary is evidently the result of a weekend spent at a national horror convention. The director speaks to a wide array of fans, as well as a large amount of horror stars. We get impromptu interview footage of folks like Tom Savini, Linnea Quigley, Bill Moseley, Sid Haig, Doug Bradley, Ivan DePrume (formerly of White Zombie), David J, Dee Wallace, and tons more. 

There's not a lot of flash and glitz to this one (aside from some brief clips of some of the more influential horror films mentioned here), just honest people of all ages and backgrounds explaining their fascinations and passion for the scary movie genre. As a life-long horror fan myself, "I Heart Monster Movies" was a fun and engrossing look at a fringe culture that continues to inspire and seduce people, irregardless of class, culture, or age. Bravo! 

(Independent Media Distribution)

"Zombie Babies" DVD (director: Eamon Hardiman)

In the spirit of Troma, this low-rent micro-indie splatterfest offers little more than some rather disgusting gore effects, awful dialogue, bad audio, and some unimpressive breastage. I'll say it up front -- avoid this one.

With barely a script, this begins as a cool idea, but instead makes itself into little more than a farce. A sleazy back-alley, coat-hanger late-term abortionist (played with equal parts baptist preacher and Michael Keaton's "Beetlejuice" character) lines up a hotel full of young and very pregnant teens and their beaus. Well, a basement moonshine still goes awry, and the aborted fetuses become, well, reanimated. 

Bad digital effects, bad puppet effects (I saw hands and strings everywhere), and attempts at ultra-grossout deaths (death by defecation? umbilical cord strangulation?) are the name of the game here. I could go on and on. Sure, this one's thoroughly, through-and-through tongue-in-cheek, but I got pretty bored of this unconvincing film quite fast.  (Independent Entertainment)

"Pure Canadian Horror" (aka "Extreme Canadian Horror") DVD

This 5-film set (on one disc, no less) has more to offer than expected, luckily, especially as it took 7+ hours to sift through it all!  In truth, there are some decent and imaginative indie flicks here.

"Abolition" (director: Mike Kiasson) begins the set, and holds up with some well-done cinematography. The story revolves around a troubled man named Joshua who, as it turns out, is both a prophet and a murderer. This one features a charismatic and memorable appearance by horror legend Reggie Bannister ("Phantasm"), which helps the cause, too. The movie seems to drag a bit, but I give it credit for having some subtlety and direction.

"Aegri Somnia" (director: James Rewucki) is a Lynch/Aranofsky-inspired art/horror film that follows a reclusive loner named Edgar whose social anxieties lead him into madness and ultimately to face his own personal "demons". It's another technically well-done film with some fine cinematography and a keen, artful visual sense.

"Long Pigs" (director: Chris Power) is a faux-documentary whereas a pair of young filmmakers are granted access to record the daily activities of a cannibalistic serial killer. There's plenty of grisly gore here, and some entertaining moments of black comedy.

"I Heart Doomsday" (director: Patrick Downing) comes close to suckness, but pulls through with an unusual charm. This is a weird little story of a nerdy, backward, and megalomaniacal "scientist" who invents of robotic version of himself to woo a beautiful woman (the stunning Christine Ghawi). The plan backfires as she falls for the robot. Sound silly? It is, as are the dirt-cheap effects and sets. But beyond the superficial aspects, this movie has heart, and with bigger production values, it could be a winner.

Finally, there's "Werewolf Fever" (director: Brian Singleton), which drops the bomb altogether. This tongue-in-cheek splatstick is set in a small-town Kingburger fast food restaurant, where a late-night delivery is interrupted by a bad case of lycanthropy. Trouble is, "Werewolf Fever" isn't amusing, only tedious. This is plainly a bad movie.

So, horror in Canada is pretty alive and kicking. There are some fun (albeit raw) moments here, so die-hard horror aficionados will surely find something of value. (R Squared Films)

"Butterfly" DVD (director: Edward E. Romero)

This American micro-indie horror flick isn't nearly as bad as it seems, though it does leave plenty to be desired.The premise? Young film student Lacey (played admirably well by Mandi Kreisher) drugs, abducts, and tortures various people (on camera) for atrocities committed years before. Her "film" is basically thinly-disguised snuff, but her intentions are, well, revenge.

You'd expect plenty of blood and torture, but it never quite happens. Fair enough -- gore isn't needed to get the point across. My issue lies with empathy. Lacey isn't particularly likable (though she is attractive and well-spoken), and nor are the people she maims and murders. Despite a nice twisty ending, "Butterfly" is, unfortunately, very forgettable. (R Squared)

"Zombie Undead" DVD (director: Rhys Davies)

It must be said. Zombie flicks are a dime a dozen. With the success of "28 Days Later", "The Walking Dead", and "Shaun Of The Dead", there's been an alarming trend of zombie this and zombie that. Enough! This 2010 UK indie film is a prime suspect, being as generic, aimless, and pedestrian as they come.

You already know what to expect -- a terrorist attack leaves a wake of zombie plague in downtown Leicester, England. It quickly spreads to the countryside, where our heroine, Sarah (played by the positively dull Ruth King) meets up with Jay (played by writer/co-editor Kris Tearse). They walk themselves in circles, being accosted by zombies, with little to say. Bad dialogue, droll characters, no direction...I could go on. On a more positive note, there are some neat and gory corpse-munching scenes, but they are too few. Avoid this one, as it's just plain bad. (Hive Films via MVD Visual)

Hive Films site

"Hack Job" DVD (director: James Balsamo)

Proclaiming on the front to feature Dave Brockie (Oderus Urungus of Gwar), Lloyd Kaufman of Troma, and the luscious Debbie Rochon, this well-meaning indie horror/splatstick comedy has its heart in the right place, but otherwise comes out a real mess. With merely guest appearances from the aforementioned, the other actors within "Hack Job" cannot hold this one up.


The convoluted script, with something about 2 struggling filmmakers who get the ultimate horror script directly from Satan himself, is quite messy, often making no sense, and with a number of unrelated vignettes, it's tough to grasp exactly what's going on. On the other hand, "Hack Job" doesn't seem to take itself seriously anyway, and looks like it was a fun project for the director and team. To it's credit, there are, as promised, a surplus of over-the-top gore and flashy, in-your-face, and bouncy breasts, so "Hack Job" brings what every fan of trashy B-horror expects -- a bloody good time. (Acid Bath Productions)

"Shockorama" 2xDVD (director: William Beaudine)

Comprising two different titles from prolific director Beaudine, this set highlights some of his more curious drive-in/trash-films of 1966. First up is "Billy The Kid Vs. Dracula", starring John Carradine -- a silly premise but fun nonetheless. Sure, expect quickie sets and some hammy non-acting, but Carradine's creepiness, and Chuck Courtney's Billy The Kid is as Saturday matinee-hero as you can get.

The second feature is "Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter", another mash-up of great Western heroes and classic Hollywood horror. Again, I found this to be a fun and lightweight guilty-pleasure, and certainly leagues better than modern Z-grade horror schlock. Great characters, silly predicaments, and some memorable, nearly-forgotten novelty screen gems.

(Cheezy Flicks)