Showing posts with label b-movie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label b-movie. Show all posts

Saturday, August 29, 2015

“Kung-Fu & Titties” DVD (director: Joseph McConnell)

Leave all semblance of manners behind in this celebration of tits!

If the title doesn’t adequately give it away, this is truly a trash film far from the boundaries of “good taste”. As far as the synopsis goes, I’ll give it a word or three regardless, as “good taste” shouldn’t be a factor in this kind of cinema anyways. Sean Molnar plays the disgraceful kung-fu fighter Richard Titties, who sees his luscious girlfriend (played by the tantalizing Seregon O’Dassey) abducted into a netherworld of absurd, almost surreal nonsense centered around an “evil dictator” called Zeefros who really just wants to see everyone’s titties. Hmm. So he must save her from his clutches, and finds a companion in a weird trash-talking Brooklyn comic (Mike Marino) in a bad gorilla costume.

Former TV star Bronson Pinchot appears here as a side note, as does B-movie scream queen Raine Brown, but they certainly can’t save this sub-Troma comedic farce that isn't funny or worthy in any way unless you crave cheap thrills and tons of titties. Yes, there are plenty of breasts here, which I suppose is the film’s sole saving grace. That’s enough said already. You know if you want to see this one or not.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

“Sexina” DVD (director: Erik Sharkey)

Mild and unimaginative b-film

Why films like this get made I really cannot explain nor understand. Lacking any unique angles or interesting characters (everyone here is a bad stereotype), this mild indie pseudo-trash film (I hate to say “B-movie”) offers no sex nor nudity, despite what is implied by the title.

Starring the fetching but unmemorable Lauren D’Avella as teen pop star / private investigator Sexina, this micro-budget indie comes across like a bad late-night TV movie, and fails to rise above. Hammy acting, a lame storyline, and deceptive packaging — Adam West does appear, but only in voice until the finale, and Davy Jones of the Monkees DID sing the theme song, but Annie Golden (of "Orange is the New Black") is only on a minor supporting role, rather than second billing as on the packaging. So points off for borderline false advertising on several counts.

In this miserable film, Sexina intervenes at a high school, undermining the cliques at a high school and championing an underdog, all the while fighting the “evil empire” of Glitz Records and manufactured boy bands.

This is a terrible movie, through and through.